THE INTERFAITH CENTER

Teaching the Teachers

 

September 4, 2014

When it comes to creating the right school environment for our children, we will do whatever we can to ensure their needs are being met. We research neighborhoods and communities before deciding where to buy homes and often base those decisions on the quality of the schools. For those who choose not enroll their children in the public schools, much deliberation is goes into deciding which private school is the best fit for your family. Unless you are contemplating a school associated with your particular religion, you may not have given much thought to how the topic of your family’s faith tradition will be impacted by your decision, until you give notice that your children will be absent for a holiday. Suddenly, you are the expert and the person who must explain the need for them to miss school for a day or two. This prospect may be daunting, but stop worrying, that’s what I’m here for; the information you need is a click away at www.interfaithlifecoaching.com.

In a few easy steps by reading through this blog post and following up on some of the resources, you can have enough information to feel confident in approaching the personnel in your children’s school.

OFFER INFORMATION

What? Me? Give the teachers and principal information about Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur? I don’t even know what they mean; I have enough trouble explaining it to my parents, my husband, my wife, my kids…. How am I supposed to explain it to people at school?

Relax, this isn’t a dissertation, it’s only a few highlights about the importance of each holiday and why you want your children to be excused from school to celebrate at your synagogue with your family. There are so many resources available here are a few to get you started:

Y  If your children have started Religious School look through their materials to see what they have brought home about Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Choose a few major points like Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish New Year and Day of Remembrance and Yom Kippur is the Day of Atonement and explain that they are celebrated with prayer and fasting (in the case of Yom Kippur for adults and children over age 12) in temple. Try to make the point that your children won’t have an opportunity to do their make-up work that day as we refrain from these activities (some schools expect students to return the next day with all the work they missed completed.)

Y  Visit some websites to see what they have about the holidays. Here are a few to peruse: your congregational website, www.urj.org; www.uscj.org/, www.myjewishlearning.com, http://pjlibrary.org/ (for families with children 8 and under), www.amazon.com has hundreds of children’s books to choose from and lets you preview most of them;

Y  Try going to your public library to see if they have any children’s book on the holidays, or visit your library’s website and see what you can get from an interlibrary loan;

Y  Consider beginning your own family library, a couple of great sources are: On the Doorpost of Your House, by Chaim Stern, The How to Handbook of Jewish Living (there are three volumes or one book containing all three volumes), by Kerry M. Olitzky, Ronald H. Isaacs and Dorcas Gelabert; At Home with the Jewish Holidays, Leona Green. These are all available on www.urj.press.com or through Amazon.

SHARING A CALENDAR  

This is such a simple idea that I am embarrassed to admit that it never occurred to me when my children were growing up. But it’s such a great tool for the school administration and such a great way to be proactive. If you remember from the last blog post we talked about ways you could be proactive and what that means—this is being proactive in action. There are many calendar programs to choose from online, just make sure you choose one that shows the holidays beginning in the evening. Google, Apple and Outlook all have calendar programs that you can add to your computers, phones and pads/tablets.

Here are some good choices: http://www.hebcal.com/, http://www.printableJewishcalendar.com, http://www.creative-calendars.com/hebrew-calendar/ and my favorite, http://www.holidays.net/calendars/religions/, because it lists Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Baha’i, Wiccan, Buddhist, Hindu and Pagan.  Another great idea is to get free calendars from your congregation and distribute them to your school. Most monument companies (yes the places that make the headstones for gravesites) provide them free of charge to the synagogues; if you contact the monument companies directly and tell them why you want several, they will probably send you some.

This is a great tool for your workplace as well as your children’s school. How many times have you learned that not only a school program or sport activity is scheduled for Yom Kippur, but an important meeting is taking place the same day? Our world is oriented on a Gregorian calendar that is largely focused on Christian holidays. While it is changing to some degree, the majority of Americans still have mono vision—everybody goes to church on Sunday.

I would be remiss if I didn’t extend a word of caution at this point. There is so much information online and it is so easy to stumble upon something that looks right but might not be quite what you think it is. So, please be cautious. If you have reservations about a site, ask someone if it is legitimate or if there is a better site under your particular circumstances. If you are in an interfaith relationship, you want a website that embraces families of both faiths, doesn’t proselyte, and doesn’t have hidden agendas. If an egalitarian perspective is important to you, meaning men and women share the same roles and have equal voices in leadership, then look at websites from more progressive movements instead of very traditional ones. And, finally, there are some messianic movements that look and feel like Judaism, but are not within the scope of mainstream Judaism. This will be a discussion for another time. Confused? Email me at info@interfaithlifecoaching.com and we can talk about all of this and more!

IT’S MORE THAN A CALENDAR!

When you approach a school or your workplace with a calendar of your holy days, you are doing more than offering some information. You are taking the initiative toward changing the culture of your place of business, your children’s school and your community. It’s not easy to be a change agent, but I find it more meaningful to be an active participant than a passive observer. We live in some uncertain times and it is natural to feel that it may not be in your best interest to call attention to yourself or your children. I can understand that concern and ambivalence—you are the only one who can determine whether or not the time is right to speak up. I hope it is because the more people who step forward the better for everyone. This is true regardless of your religious affiliation, but this is a topic for another day!

While you are offering your calendar, keep in mind that many school districts and organizations plan more than one year in advance. Be forward thinking by offering a multi-year calendar that shows major holidays for up to five years. This may not be important for Christian holidays, but if you are part of a religion that operates on a lunar (Muslim and Baha’i) or modified lunar (Judaism) calendar you know holidays move each year.

Passover sometimes coincides with Easter but not always which is why spring break may fall during Passover and it may fall before or after. Ramadhan can fall anytime during the year; this is critical for school administrators to understand. If it has been on a summer cycle and you come in to talk about having your child released from lunch, they may not understand why you are asking now and not last year. From the perspective of school administrators, it is very hard to plan with a moving target so make it easier on them. Just as Interfaith Life Coaching is offering you a toolbox of resources, you can offer the same to those with whom you work, study and associate.

BEYOND THE CALENDAR!

We will talk more in the coming weeks about other ways you can become engaged in conversations that concern diversity in the schools, workplace and community. In preparation you might want to find out if your school district has a diversity council or your community a diversity awareness program. Many corporations also have programs through their human resources departments. All of these are potential areas that you can make a difference for yourself and your family. This will help you in your quest to understand your religious values and those of your partner’s while embracing faith, family and tradition.

I look forward to continuing our conversation; contact me at info@interfaithlifecoaching.com.

L’shalom,

Margaret